Day 10: Unknown; The Unknown Struggle

In the depth of something ugly

Brain, heart and soul refuse to communicate.

A standoff so to speak.

Fed with more and more information 

The whys and wherefores 

Hormones personality tendencies and faith.

The brain nods with relief

Exhaling, "yes, yes that is truth, a balm for the soul, healing for the heart." 

Yet it doesn't get to the intended target 

The brain holds all epiphanies with tightly clenched fists.

One false move and panic ensues

Anger swells a tantrum is pending.

This is not what I signed up for! 

The present moment is evasive 

Two minutes after meditation

Gone!

With one offhanded comment

The peace of prayer 

Evaporates 30 minutes after mass.

On the verge of a nosedive

The precipice of implosion

Who will hold the broken pieces? 

Who will alleviate the pain beneath the ingratitude?

Surely not you my partner, my love, 

You are taking cover,

You are no match for the criticism. 

You are no match for this venom.

And I am so very bitter about that!

Hold me Jesus

Rock me

Soothe me

Heal me

Moment by precious moment 

Show me frame by frame our history
Your wondrous acts of grace
That once again
My heart my be unfeignedly grateful.

Merge my broken heart and yearning soul with my withholding angry mind.

Unite my disjointed thoughts 

Remind me of the solace
Waiting for me in your good and perfect plan.